This is it.

That's all folks and there's porky pig giving the credits.

After nearly 3 years of using Blogger. I'm done. I'm moving on to use a new online journal. 114 posts, countless words, unforgettable memories and emotions be it sorrow or be it joy. Thanks for those who follow me and read my blog regularly. My love goes to you loyal blokes and dudettes. :)

I'm moving to http://nadoedope.tumblr.com/ and this is my last and final post. :)

Listen and Behold
Another Heart Calls - AAR

Trials

is what await me and all who reside beneath the Lord's throne by kingdom come.

Lol, I could be some crazy writer one day god forbid.
Going through my mid-terms this week and shit, I've already missed so many classes. I'm fucking afraid I might be barred from a few of them. Gotta get the MC's or talk to Miss T, I mean no way I missed 4 classes already. Although, being late rofl. Have I ever been punctual for anything in life?

Hoping I'll do well for my Mid's so I get a good final score. Sigh. ): Life sucks, but life's like that aye? I miss everyone.

Rubbish

Somehow, I was never even there.

Heartfelt

Okay so I lied, sue me.
This is most probably the last thing keeping me from screaming at 4.30 in the morning.

I've never felt so important in anyone's life ever before. I've never felt so wanted by anyone ever before. But you gave me all that, in your own way. Never before could I have thought loving you meant hurting me. But I never wanted to let go cause I love you with my very heart and everything I hold dear. I don't know how to say it when I say my heart can't take this kind of pain anymore. I can't stand not being able to hold you for so long, not being able to talk to you through so many methods. It hurts me deeply and I don't think it'll ever heal. Every single night I cry thinking about this before I go to sleep. Every single goddamn night.

Ever since I got to where I am now. I feared only one thing, which was hurting you. I can't take it anymore baby. I just can't. I don't know what I want anymore. I want you, but it hurts. Don't blame yourself about anything. The fault lies all on me. I should have said something earlier. I should have been honest as you say it's what you cling onto. I couldn't do it. Please, don't think ill of me. I don't ever wanna lose you. I'm afraid eventhough we made the deal on that night. We'd still drift and I don't think I'll survive the thought of losing you forever, us not talking. I wouldn't be able to live through that. I said I would be better for you. I failed, I said I could be better and I shall, I failed. All of these failures are my own, showing how I am not worthy of you. It has been my complete honor being loved by you, and it has been I think the best time of my life loving you. I'll doubt I'll ever be as happy as I was with you. But you deserve better before I turn back into the old me. I don't ever want to hurt you. Not in the ways I know I am capable of doing.

I will forever love you, I'm sorry for being such a jerk and most of all I'm sorry for not being enough. Please don't think ill of me.

Listen and Behold,
Delirium - Paul Oakenfold

Closure

First post I've done in yonk, but I've had nothing to write.

Although so many things have been happening in my life since I entered college. I just haven't found the will to write again. Nothing, whatsoever. It saddens me to think I cannot conceive my regular bunch of bullshit, my rhythmic poems, those true to the heart stories and those ever so personal things that come from my very soul.

Nothing.

Could it be, that it has finally come a time where I lose the ability to type out my feelings and also the ability that I have to write? God could you possibly be so cruel.

I'm not going to close this blog but leave it here. Cause to me, this is a journal, a diary a timeline of how I've changed since the first posts. But I'm not going to write anything as the persona I am now. For it is now me.

For these tears I shed are for the things I am about to detach myself with. The things that I have left behind as well as those that I have grown distant or have grown hostile towards. The memories and the times. -suddenly it sounds suicidal xD-

Each tear I shed is heavy, Each tear symbolises something. Each tear is special and yet wasted. Each tear was too long overdue. My heart breaks, My soul screams, the boy cries.

My world is torn asunder and I have no intention of saving it. Let me drift slowly into nothingness for I want the eternal nothingness as well as solitude.

I might reopen this book when it is time. But for now it shall stay shut for the time being. To my loyal readers. Thank you for following me. I'll be back whenever.

Batai

Lol. That be name of the street I am at now. Gawd. I miss Ampang ):

Despair

Well. I can finally write a few things of worth now owing to the fact that I have got music back in my life. (: Wicked!

Been posting more lately since I got into college. Yahoo for me. Although I can't help shake that naggy feeling that something is horribly wrong. I'm going to be doing something in my own way to see whether something is worth it or not. Whether things will be the same or different. It's time for the old me to come out for awhile. Baby forgive me.

Listen and Behold.
The Hush Sound - Magnolia